The 2010 Soccer World Cup* is mere days away, and the excitement is building. Shops throughout South Africa are slapping vuvuzelas onto display mannequins and Motorists are sticking flags onto their car aerials, in the hopes of showing their patriotism and also disrupt the clarity when Justin Bieber is played. Kick off specials and Free Soccer balls are the result of most marketers uniting against creativity as each outlet tries to cash in, with most hoping that Fifa do not sue them for copyright infringement.

I dont really think the witch from Hansel and Gretel was all that mean. Sure, she had a penchant for eating obese little German boys, but I reckon they were getting a pretty good deal hey. She didnt fatten up Gretel because lets face it... no one likes a fat chick. Even witches with poor eyesight.

I dont see the need for an evil stepmother though. Is the witch so weak as an antagonist that she cant be chief villain all on her own? Its kinda like the Batman movies really - In the first one, all you needed was Jack Nicholson, but after that it had to be two villains per movie. Why complicate shit? I'm glad they didnt mention that Hansel was diabetic though. That would have been overkill.
We always have this desire to complicate shit though. So that it stands out. So it isnt lost in the shuffle of the ordinary. A part of me likes routine, consistency and Windowsills made of liquorice. I'm not big on gingerbread walls though - they remind me of those crappy biscuits we used to get in the orange wrappers. I cant remember the name now. The Bakers man can.. fuck up now and then.

Sometimes we need to question the shit we read to our kids, but I think whats more important is that we question the stuff we consume. I'm not saying that everything is some huge New world order conspiracy but I fear for the time where we accept everything we hear or read without negotiating the message. Put down the V for Vendetta masks though. No need to blow up the Union Building. If anything, I would blow up Melrose Arch. What a pointless Diet Coke Mall. I cant say things like Blow Up anymore. Word association is a bitch.

Hansel and Gretel could have been more complicated. They could be two Arab kids lost in the desert. Leave as many pebbles as you like, youre' still fucked. Maybe they'l have two, three or four evil stepmothers - four times the hate. maybe they'll be starving and stuff and the witches house would be made out of Gelatine. can you imagine Gretel getting on her knees looking for a halaal certificate.

Maybe Hansel and Gretel could be American kids. Would have saved the witch time from having to fatten him up methinks.

I feel sorry for the witch. They let her cook in the oven for a few days. Little bastards. So whats the moral of the story?

You can tell me :)

MJ

I really enjoy my gaming. I would choose gaming over most things really. If you are passionate about a specific medium, some moments will stand out more than others. You know those moments when you just put the controller down and say 'wow'. I also like the moments that make me laugh audibly (I didnt want to say lol for some reason) I hardly give a hearty chuckle so when a game makes me laugh - I remember it!


So - These are twenty of my most memorable or funny gaming moments (not in order). I will keep adding to the comments section as I remember. Feel free to add as well
1. Def Jam: Fight for New York - I maintain that this is the best intro ive ever seen for a videogame and no game has ever pumped me up like this

2. Metal gear Solid 3 - when Ocelot reveals that he was Adam in the credits. Blew my mind.

3. I completed Uncharted 2 this week. One of the best games ive ever played. Two moments stand out amongst the countless gems - The first one is the scene in Nepal where you are trying to outrun a Truck. Its the first time I saw the game, and I knew I had to buy it immediately. The dialogue in the game is the best ive ever heard in a videogame, and there is a scene in the end where Drake says to Flynn, "Hey you, asswipe, give me a lighter" . Its just hilarious and I still laugh now when I think about it. Ten minutes later you are exploring a catacomb with him and see this hideous skull sculpture and you say "Hey look, a statue of your mom".

4. Rainbow Six Vegas. I was playing coop mode with a friend and we enter a room with three bad guys. We shoot the first one which alerts the other two and they take cover and start blind firing at us. Then one guy tells the other guy 'cover me', and that guy says 'fuck you, cover me'. Loved that moment :)

5. Singstar vol 2: Another memory with same friend. The first time we tried singing the Paul McCartney and Frog song as a duet. Bum Bum Bum Baa-iyaa

6. GTA Vice City - The first time you hijack a bike and Billie Jean starts playing. Win!

7. Bioshock - When you are told that you have been conditioned to obey everytime you hear the phrase 'would you kindly'. What a mindfuck. Also - The opening scene - when you swim up to the surface and everything around you is in flames and youre not sure if you are in control because it all looks too beautiful to be in game.

8. Assassins Creed - The first time you climb The Dome of The Rock only to see Islamic calligraphy around the Dome. Loved it

9. Assassins Creed 2 - When your uncles greets you with the unmistakable 'Its a Me a Mario'

10. Pro Evolution Soccer 10 - The first time you score with a bicycle Kick followed by lots of jumping and gratuitous crotch grabbing

11. Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 - Inputting a code so that you can play Pong with a mate.

12. The Suffering - I think this was the scariest opening ive ever played.

13. Modern Warfare - The first stage in the middle East - When you storm the tv Station (including the scene before this when they kill the President)

14. Onimusha 3 - Opening scene - Monsters attack France. Awesome.

15. Bards Tale - Hilarious dialogue that makes fun of all these dumb RPG's that are out there.

16. Legend Of Zelda Ocarina of Time - I'd like to say everything about this game is awesome, but if I had to choose one it would be when you leave the Chamber of Time and everything around you is destroyed.

17. GTA 4 - The TV stations were hilarious. My favourite programmes were 'A history of Liberty City and Republican Space Rangers. Loved them.

18. NHL Blitz: Youre getting ready to cream some Random American team in Ice Hockey. You still have no idea why there are so many penalties, and all of a sudden you hear a remixed version of Zombie Nation blasting out of the speakers complete with the entire crowd doing the chorus. Pure awesome.

19. Prince of Persia 3. You finish the game, kill the last boss and you are still haunted by your evil alter ego, so you end up fighting him and nothing really happens. And after a few minutes you realise that the only way you can kill him is by walking away. Loved it.

20. Ratchet and Clank 2 - When they test the crotchitizer out of Captain Quark

So thats my twenty. If I think of more i'l pop them in the comments section. Let me know which are your favourite moments.

MJ

Control is an illusion

Its like a tennis ball that you throw into the sea.

You believe it will come back due to the tide and you think that this expectation is control.

But it isnt.

Im against principles if all we use them for is to prove a point. Im for principles if they make us better people for ourselves. Its difficult to balance this. Even the biggest safety net of regret is just a bunch of holes tied together. Thats the thing really, no one looks at it that way. No one considers the hole in the doughnut to be included in the price. Wouldnt be much of a doughnut without that hole.

We are so afraid of love. Sometimes when we give too much of ourselves, we get worried that some of it will spill onto the cobblestone pathways and alleys and be lost forever. I wouldn't want to quantify love. It isnt a bucket of paint that splashes on my shoes when i run towards someone.

Im between reflection and action. Hope is independent of this. But not hate. That is why I feel it is better to have hope. At the same time I am not saying we should be deluded.

To be in love is not to be in control. Love cannot be controlled. Yes, it can be manipulated, twisted and inhibited.. but it can never be controlled.

I think we are all just tennis balls

• Litchies
• Ice Cream
• Slings
• Roses
• China Guavas
• Coca Cola

• Sex
• Hangers
• Black Bags

• The Main guy isnt that hot - I thought his father was better looking. he  was good as Cedric Diggory.
• Her acting was horrible in the ending when she was in the hospital room
• Him jumping from tree to tree like a spider monkey was ridiculous. Vampires are supposed to be graceful
• He spends five minutes detailing why he is the perfect predator with his acute senses and strength and what not, and when he stands in the sunlight.... HE GLITTERS! I was expecting him to be hideous or something because he made such a big deal about staying out of the sunlight.. and then he GLITTERS! He looked like a Christmas decoration of some sort.
• Underworld 3 is going to make this movie its bitch!
• This movie reminded me of The Covenant, and any movie that reminds me of that pile of crap is going to be bad.

I was watching telly the other day and I saw an advert for a classic Dance Anthems CD/DVD combo and it got me thinking - most of the songs that were on the list were

3. People who think their friend list is an indication of actual Popularity

Wilhelm Scream Youtube Video