The non-definitive guide to getting hits on your blog.

Thursday, 29 November 2007 12:36 Written by mandibleclaw

Have you been wondering why you don't get as many hits as everyone else? Why you rarely, if ever, get more than fifty hits on your blog while others seem get hundreds all the time? If so, then this article is for you! I'm going to give you the vital points in order for you to get more hits on your blog.

The first, most important, obvious, thing to do is write good articles. By good, I don't mean that you think it's good. Other people should think that it's good. Write about whatever you want, but make it good if you want me to read it.

How do I define good? I'm glad you asked.

Good is the opposite of shit. Whatever you do, DON'T WRITE SHIT.

Shit, as a word. has many meanings, but shitty articles are quite obvious. They are described by the following: Anything about failed love, how much you miss a person, poems, what happened to you last weekend(unless it's something really uncommon), how you're feeling, the state of your mind, how you're “weird” compared to other people.

I don't click on something if there's a suggestion that an article may be on any of those topics. I really cannot waste my time reading shit. You may think that you've written a wonderful soliloquy, but in all honest truth, you haven't. It's shit, and I bet it shows in your hits.

Another thing you should do is try to improve the flow of your article. I always judge something by how fast I read it. A 200 word article should take me less than a minute to read. Ideas should follow each other. I shouldn't have to backtrack, or even once think(even subconsciously), “Where the fuck did that come from.”

That is, don't write anything that reads like the previous paragraph.

Now, the previous tips, while important, are important only to keep readers coming back to your blog. I assume you're looking for ways to get hits initially. I'll tell you how in one word. Marketing.

No one will know about your blog if you don't tell them. Tell your friends. Depending on the number of your friends, you could get quite a good amount of hits if they in turn recommend you to non-mutual friends.

Another element of marketing is available courtesy of MyDl. See those little row of icons at the bottom of the Latest news thing? They link to sites such as digg or fark. Create an account at these sites and submit articles that are good. If your article is featured on the front page of digg you could get thousands of hits.

Anyway, by now you may be thinking, “Who the fuck are you? You're a shit writer and you don't even follow your own device.”

The difference between you and I, is that I don't give a shit. I'm just writing cause I like to.

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