mydigitallife

As promised, after the Oracle's Teazers blogs and Koo's counter-blogs, here's one to stir up some heated debate and some controversy, probably some downright flame wars even?

It's been commented in the blogs about Teazers that men exploit women sexually in these clubs, degrading them and taking advantage of the "weaker sex". In my opinion most of the time this "men exploit weaker women" statement/idea is plain and simple bull-poo.

Please note I did say "most of the time" and there may be legitimate exploitation and abuse but it is most definitely not as one-sided as women’s rights proponents claim it to be.

There's even a term or two for this women exploiting men side of the equation: gold digger or sometimes also called cock tease or just plain tease (Which is probably why Teazers is actually CALLED that). Whatever you call it, it is basically a woman exploiting a man, usually by employing sex or sexual innuendo. The preceding terms is usually reserved for non-cash exploitation. When actual money is involved in this process it can probably be classed as prostitution?

From my own experience and reports from others I have noticed the following: Women rarely have to pay for their own drinks in a pub/club. They dress provocatively in the knowledge that they will be able to trick a man or six to pay their way, by no more than showing a bit of cleavage or skin etc, flirting and implying that there might be a reward etc. Of course, when that reward never happen it kinda pisses guys off and if the ladies did their job too well in their acting and the guy got fooled into believing something and tries to act on these signals it leads to charges of assault or attempted rape etc. How many rape cases have been overturned because the lady happened to wear just a bit more than a playboy centerfold or a "lady of negotiable affection"? So, women basically trick men into giving them "stuff" by using their sexual side.

The above is just a pub and it's expected right? Or at least that would be the comment anyway but it's not just drinks that get used in this exploitation. Even if a guy is not planning/trying for a quicky or one-night stand with a girl he still ends up being exploited, taken for a ride, played etc by being made to pay for the attention of a lady.

I've met a few ladies and have gone through the process of dating, not with sex in mind as target but at getting to know the lady better and working on a relationship and onwards to maybe someday yes that sex thing. But as it has been stated, the amount of exploitation a man has to suffer to get to that point depends on how much he can be milked for by a woman. A few cups of coffee over a number of dates, a lunch or dinner or two, or six, a few drinks a couple of times, small gifts with huge price tags... It can add up to thousands of Rands over months to get a lady to stay around long enough to develop a relationship to a point where things can be taken more serious and to the eventual level of sex or long term relationship like engagement or marriage.

Thousands of Rands, months of time and just a slight possibility compared to a much smaller amount and a few minutes negotiation... which one would you pick?  Yes it's not all about sex and there are other things attached to a relationship but ultimately there will be some sex involved too. And there comes the next bit of exploitation. Once you got it it's like being on drugs. You want/need more and there's someone willing to satisfy that craving: If you have the price. Of course, it could cost you that R100 on some street corner or so and the urge is gone, or...back to the paying an arm and a leg in gifts and treats to the lady of the relationship for the same, again, that's why prostitutes have steady jobs, and single ladies can always find a mark to exploit.

Men like looking at beautiful ladies. We do it as we walk along the street etc. Women also look at guys, don't forget that. Many men have started a relationship with a lady and gotten along far into life with them. However they still stray, but why? Is it because they are weak? Are they just despicable? No, it's because they don't get what they want/need from their female partners who have let themselves go from the hot girl to the not-hot girl because they've already snagged their guy and don't think they have to put in any more effort, or even if they stay the way they were in the courtship stage they may now require more persuasion and "stuff" to get the same effect.

It sounds bad when it comes down to it that men have to pay for the attention of a lady long enough for attention to change to affection and love. And then have to keep paying installments for life to keep at least some of that attention and affection. And women wonder why men run to other women? Is it possibly because the "rate of exchange" or cost/effort is less with someone else than with the initial lady? That the other lady is willing to do more for the same "cost"? It really all comes back to the ROI (return on investment) really, if one has to put it that bluntly.

Women have a much easier time of getting things out of men than men have of getting things out of women. So who's exploiting who? Women have Women's rights groups etc to fight for them, where is the man's support group? We are definitely not the stronger sex when it comes to exploitation; women have us beat by a mile...

(The floor is now open to the screams of outrage etc. I've got my helmet and riotgear ready and wearing a flameproof overall so hit me with your comments)

PS. My blogs always make more sense in my head as I write them up

PPS. The above is a work in progress and I will modify it as/if I can be persuaded well enough to make those changes

Comments (9)

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written by The Pianist, November 24, 2009

Not all women go for money, just like not all men go for sex

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written by The Pianist, November 24, 2009

Abort here @ Pianist: true, but even if sex is not involved in many cases meeting ladies means going somewhere to get their attention then wining and dining them, sometimes many times before any real relationship can be said to have been formed/started. And it's not always only about money but looks too. If they don't like your looks you won't have a chance to attempt using money or any other means to keep their attention.

And as for personality... that's invisible until they get past the looks and the chance to keep their attention long enough for a chance for them to notice that personality.

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written by The Pianist, November 24, 2009

Abort, I'm sorry you feel this way. And from your experience it sounds like this is what you've been exposed to. Women are wonderful creatures, and i hope you are drawn to someone soon who's ok with a picnic and walk around a lake Someone who likes you for you.

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written by Doolally, November 24, 2009

If you are friends with someone it is easier to form a relationship without basing it on looks.

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written by Doolally, November 24, 2009

Abort@Doolally: becoming friends again comes down to how do you get someone's attention long enough for them to realize you're a person worth being friends with? One has to be noticed before one can be approached and then the personality and inner person can be seen. One can't just walk down the street and see someone and think "hey, I'm gonna be his friend" if you don't both parties first find something in each other that will let them want to find out if friendship or anything else is possible.

That's where making an impression comes in and unfortunately usually it's based on obvious signs like looks, abilities, actions etc. The only way where the superficial don't make a difference sometimes is through mutual acqaintances which basically comes down to someone vouching for the suitability for you to start a friendship or relationship. In which case the being noticed part has been done for you.

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written by Skard, November 24, 2009

:sigh i dunno dude ..... bad luck so far?

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written by The Pianist, November 24, 2009

My bf and i were awesome friends before we dated It works. We know what makes each other tick, and have more empathy with expecting stuff that just isn't there from each other.

PS: I hated the idea of relationships before him

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written by tonio, November 24, 2009

LMAO..lol...man you were on some stuff with this one,seems like you suggesting
wide gauge penis for wide gauge vagina,
no fella,one size can fit all,its wots
surrounds the vagina that is natural
selection for you folk so do not waste
a life looking for an angle for your dangle rather love and do not stop love
even until death your flesh you do part, no matter what the pain in the
end with love there is more to gain.
Sooo.stop dissecting this tit for that and get stuck into the instinctive thing of LOVE living.....

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written by Dissol, November 24, 2009

Hmmm...not sure if there is a hint of rejection being dealt with here, or just trolling for hits... :?

I would just like to point out one fact that is often very conveniently overlooked by people when they try to make this sort of point; the gla*s ceiling. Generally females earn quite a bit less than males, and don't have the same opportunities when it comes to earning (true of most societies but more so, in a chauvanistic society such as ours). Therefore a tradition has formed, where the male generally picks up the bill. Personally (although I am normally fighting for equality), it is a tradition that I quite like.

Of course, this is all complicated when you throw disability into the mix...if you want to get away with not paying, then go on a date in a wheelchair...the waiters nearly always then give the bill to the able person sat at the table.

I have no feeling in my legs; but if I go through a doorway ahead of a lady, then my shins hurt. My mother 'taught' us as children, with a swift kick to the shins, to remember to always let the ladies go through first. These are traditions that I personally like, and try to observe. I have met females that don't like it, and find it patronising, but it is not meant in that vein at all. But I have found that good manners gets you further in this world than any other single characteristic...

Once in a long term term relationship, I think it is unfair to generalise and say that one gender tends to wander first. Any long term relationship requires some give & take from both parties.

Of course (heterosexual) men like to look at beautiful women. But then heterosexual women also enjoy to look at gorgeous men. I enjoy watching (early - pre plastic surgery!) movies with Meg Ryan...and my wife enjoys watching George Clooney. We even try to guess actors that the other may fancy...great fun, and you can get really good at it... But that does not mean that we are about to sling our hook and run off with the first bit of available skirt, or trouser!! Although if Keira calls around tonight...

I happen to generally enjoy female company more than male company...and my wife is the reverse...which means that if we have a party here, she stands by the braai, and I am in the kitchen. But we are comfortable, and trust one another implicitly, so there is no issue. So I do regularly take different females out for lunch, dinner, coffee, whatever, and there is ABSOLUTELY no expectation of sex! I pay, because it is tradition, I pay because it is polite, I pay because I recognise that we do not yet have a level playing field and there is still a strong gla*s ceiling in place.
:zzz

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